I Enjoy Being A Were - Phil Mills, November 2010 TTTO: I Enjoy Being A Girl, by Rodgers and Hammerstein I'm a were, and by me that's only great! I am proud that my silhouette is furry, That I run with a lithe and loping gait With my speed kind of frightening and blurry. I adore having gorged on something bloody When my date turned her back in some dark place And I'm just as content with John or Dougie, Or that filly I've been eyeing, just in case! When I make my night's transition And my clothes -- oddly -- disappear, I keep my erect position. I enjoy being a were! When men say it's vile, what I eat, And my teeth aren't teeth, but spears, I just munch it up like fresh meat. I enjoy being a were! I flip when a fellow tests my powers, I drool onto dresses made of lace, I slink through the darkened woods for hours With a pound and a half of gore upon my face! Not strictly a Canis lupus, In the future I hope to be In the home of some careless goofus Who'll regret being the prey, meeting a were… like... me. When men who think they're immune scream As my grasp triggers primal fear, It goes to my head like moonbeams. I enjoy being a were! When someone with eyes that smolder Says she loves fuzzy pointed ears, I leap on her iv'ry shoulder. I enjoy being a were! When I hear the compliment'ry whistle, If meant as an insult or a gag, I turn and I glower and I bristle, But I wish I could stop my tail's instinctive wag! Not strictly a Canis lupus, In the future I hope to be In the home of some careless goofus Who'll regret being the prey, meeting a were… like... me.