If I Only Had A Gun

TTTO: If I Only Had A Brain, by Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg

(Scarecrow)
I could while away the hours 
By blowing’ heads off flowers,
Some critters, or someone.
No man would stand as rival
While my thoughts were on survival
If I only had a gun.

When my government’s annoying,
I’d threaten its destroying
In anger or for fun.

(Dorothy)
With the thoughts you'd be thinkin',
You’d create a hundred Lincolns
If you ever had a gun.

(Scarecrow)
Oh, I would show you why
This loser's feeling sore.
I could shoot at things I never shot before;
I’d find a crowd and shoot some more.

I would not be just a nothin’,
My blogs all wind and bluffin’,
My phaser set to stun.
No more days as a zero;
I'd become a superhero
If I only had a gun.