Public Transportation
 - Phillip Mills, September 2007
TTTO: Younger Generation, (John Sebastian)

Why must every subway station smell like candied 'poop'
And I swear this morning's riders bathed in garlic soup
After dining on baked beans washed down with fourteen beer
I know what's wrong with them; now tell why I'm here

Determined to break ankles using stroller whacks
Like Sun Tzu in drag a mom with child attacks
With thirty jammed-tight yahoos playing MP3s
Leaking drum tracks almost loud enough to mask the poor kid's screams
I'm sure he has a question or three

Like, "Hey, Mom, can we go ride a bus
It has real windows, breeze comes in, I hear that's good for us
Oh, wait, I just remembered... I don't want to die this young
I imagine breathing downtown air would calcify my lungs"
Oh I must be a sinner, here condemned to riding public transportation

If you don't start walking, you'll keep standing there
That's not an escalator; it's a flight of stairs
And though I try to point out there's a crowd behind
You're dialing up your best friend, talking 'bout your private life
I'm sorry that your boyfriend has a wife.

And "Hey, Mom, that old man's looking pale
I don't think he's mutated yet and he's trying to inhale
And now that he's collapsed, it seems his heart's about to fail
So what's the matter, geezer, how come you're turning white?
Can't you live without your oxygen and light?"